Doctors are wonderful. The amount of knowledge and their capacity to affect real change is matched by very few professions. Doctors and biomedical researchers have marvelous capacity to track and decipher often obscure messages that are coming up from within the body. I spent the better part of my early adult life as a biomedical researcher in the field of neuroscience. No one has more respect and awe of that field of work and the people who carry it forward.
BUT......
Chances are, you know some one who complains of an ailment that doctors can't find a diagnosis for. Even when a diagnosis is offered, treatments that are available sometimes come up short leaving people with a decision between symptoms or side-effects, between accepting their new normal or continuing to search for relief.
This blog post is written for those people. The people out on the margins of what medicine is currently capable of assessing and treating. For those people who have seen countless specialists and still have gained little to no ground in their experience of symptoms, their experience of life.
A quick recap of my own foray into the wacky world of chronic illness...
I started experiencing weird symptoms a few years before I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease (yes, antibodies on a western blot). I did the treatment, then.....crickets. Nothing changed. The weird symptoms got weirder and I pulled further and further out of normal life, having the capacity to emerge from bed for a few hours here and there but mostly in and out of fitful sleep/Netflix/pain cycles. It was awful. If I told you my list of symptoms, you would also probably think I was dying. Fast forward a few years and many many many many treatments....mega doses of antibiotics for long durations of time (oral and IV), magnets, herbs, acupuncture, rife machine, all sorts of home things from epsom salts to enemas, the list goes on and on. I was desperate and I tried everything that came to me. I'm not even going to go into the cost of this vs. the cost of not being able to work and my feelings on people treating the chronically ill as financial prey.
Fast Forward To Today... To put it simply, I have my life back. I just sat for a moment thinking about what percentage of life I have back. That's a tough one. A lot has changed since I started my battle with chronic illness. But I am back to living my life as a healthy, active, "normal" person. I run, I drink, I play, I have sex, I practice yoga, I work, I sleep, I eat, I freak out, I calm down.....all with relative ease. There are what I like to call the "residual effects of long term neurological Lyme disease" but all in, I don't have much to complain about. If you asked, I would tell you that I don't have Lyme anymore and my life is better now than it has ever been.
So what's the trick?
Well, one day I decided there was nothing else I could do except start getting well. I know, sounds hokey. But I'm serious. I was floating in the ocean with a massive migraine and pain throughout my whole body, gripped in fear of the future, heart pounding arrhythmically and I guess that was my rock bottom.
So I turned in the only direction I had left...toward myself. I started turning toward the pain instead of trying to push it away. I bravely probed my body, my heart and my soul. I learned to listen to my innate abilities and wisdom, activation and stillness. Since the answer wasn't in the hands of the doctors, I looked to myself...and I found her. And damn, she's powerful when she is allowed in.
I didn't do it alone. I had and still have guides that lead the way to my recovery and thriving. I drew from the fields of somatic psychology, buddhist pyschology, neuroplasticity and pain neuroscience. I "held the hands" of people I slowly allowed myself to feel secure with, practitioners that I trust bc they don't claim to have all of the answers for me, but they have walked the path and can point the flashlight.
You are powerful, too. No matter where you are in your journey toward health, you can tune in and uplift from that grounded, centered self. That's the work I and many others are here to do with you. Reach out and hold the hands of your guides...and turn toward yourself.
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